01751 620031 / 07790 893007 hello@karenhayward.co.uk

I love you.  Three little words.  Three little words that can have a profound effect on your body.  When whispered by someone you love, the brain releases huge doses of oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle’ hormone.  We also have dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin.  This powerful cocktail of chemicals rushing through out bodies makes us feel amazing, elated even.  We can go off our food, our sleep is disrupted, our heart races.

But… if those same three little words are said by someone you are thinking of divorcing, the body is flooded with stress hormones; cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine.  We can go off our food, our sleep is disrupted, our heart races.

There are clearly similarities in the chemicals that are released in both situations but long term, the stress hormones can have a significant impact on our health and well-being.

So, choose words wisely.  The odd ‘glib’ comment to someone in a negative frame of mind can have a long term detrimental affect on that person.  So what if you are that person?  What if you are the person who has been deeply hurt by something that someone said to you?

One tip would be to not dwell on it.  The body doesn’t differentiate between what is real and what is imaged.  Think about the last time you cried watching a sad film or got spooked by the thriller.  Neither of those things were real but your body reacted to them anyway.  Going over the event in your mind will just keep reinforcing it.  Try writing a letter addressed to the person who hurt you, put it in an envelope, seal it up and put it in the bin.  You will have got it out of your system, said everything you needed to say and you can just walk away from the hurt.